Late Shift…

Late shift today at my insurance call centre. Finish work 8pm. Valentines Day. Got my red top on. This has been requested by the authorities at work. We must all wear red or pink in keeping with the day. They fail to understand that red is the colour of anger so there may well be a few people up in arms today. This should be interesting.

I managed to get to my blog quicker today. My first day yesterday. It took a few hours to get the hang of it. My computer kept giving me the message ‘done but with errors’. Liar. It didn’t mean that at all.

COMPUTER: You’ve messed up you stupid cow.
ME: I followed the instructions. I can’t see what went wrong.
COMPUTER: Don’t use that excuse. Your cataracts were done last year.
ME: So what have I done wrong?
COMPUTER: You’re in the wrong screen idiot.
ME: F*ck you.
COMPUTER: Kicking me won’t help.

Anyway, enough said there. We’re friends again this morning. So I now have a few minutes to add a diatribe before I leave for work. Well, where do I start. I’m wondering if Ms S will call me again today. Interesting call yesterday.

MS S: I want to discuss my bill.
ME: Is this for your insurance? Do you have the policy number?
MS S: My account number is…my address is…
ME: There does not appear to be any insurance policy set up for that property.
MS S: Not insurance. I want to discuss my bill.
ME: So what bill do you mean?
MS S: Put me through to customer services.
ME: This is…and we are an insurance company. Have you dialled correctly?
MS S: Put me through to customer services.
(which customer services do you want? NHS, local mental health, hospital, or another?)ME: You’ve dialled incorrectly. Try again.

No, I’m not a mind reader. Some people may find that unbelievable. But it’s actually true. In fact I don’t think any of my colleagues are mind readers either. I’ll have to do a bit more digging just in case they are. They may be hiding it from me. Those of us at the call centre seem to have a habit of hiding things.

MR T: I’ve had my insurance certificate and no where on here does it show the price.
ME: Have you looked on the back?
MR T: Oh, I didn’t think of that.

Mrs W: I can’t read these terms and conditions. Can you send someone to read them for me?
Silence
MRS W: Can someone come round and read them for me?
ME: No.

Actually, as we are in customer care, we should be sending someone around to the customers houses to read the documents for them, and to show them where the important information is. Shouldn’t we? The company should be employing people especially for this role. They should be paid £6 an hour with travel expenses. They should visit the customers house to assist them with the documents. I will immediately put this suggestion forward.

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